One Time!

I was up half the night contemplating whether to go to work, and I woke up still contemplating. I had a long chat with 2 people and both gave similar sort of responses, albeit disgruntingly at 8am! Eventually, against my better judgement, I put a suit on and commenced my journey to work. Then I got to the tube station, looked up and there it was, staring me in the face...the reason why I turned round and went home. 30/40/50 people descending on Bow Road tube station and not one, not one of them looked happy. I am NOT starting the grind now, im barely out of nappies. I have the rest of my life to worry about that.

My aim at the start of this summer was too add some weight to my CV (check-I got the job, its now on CV, never going anywhere, plenty of ways to skin a cat, goal 2-to have £1000 sitting in current account, to have £500 sitting in savings, to have a poker roll of about £500, to have part-time work guaranteed heading in to the new academic year. Nowhere in my list of goals were there t+c's saying "you must do whatever it takes to achieve these, its a life or death situation and this summer is crucial to the remaining 60 years of your life".

In a nutshell, fuck it. I intend to enjoy my summer AND achieve those goals, today was the beginning of that, hopefully.

However, I'm making myself sound more baller than I actually am. In reality, I am giving myself today and possibly tomorrow to make the decisions and prepare to take the gamble. I think I can get today off work without getting the boot. So if by the end of the day little changes, I may just turn up for work tomorrow with a tail between my legs, as my quest is defeated before I leave the port... I haven't quit right now, so as to leave myself a back-up plan. Just got to pray they don't email back something along the lines of "don't worry, we can't cope with the unrealiability". I also CANNOT let my parents find out, they know I intend to quit but I said mid-August, work till then and then I am sweet financially.

My basic pay breaks down to £6.25 per hour. I earn more than that per hour at the Vic and I am sure I can earn as much as that online. However, you obviously need a pain threshold with poker due to variance, something I don't have right now, unless I utilise an overdraft, which I don't want to do, ideally.
Thus, poker is not a plausible, legitamate option right now, but it is a foundation. I have applied for many other jobs and I am going job hunting today... hopefully, hopefully something comes in. Ideally I want to get something that is part-time but where I can do 25 hours a week if I choose, then switch to 12-16 hours a week when uni starts. I get to know people, I enjoy it (hopefully), its a consistent income. I was working 16 hours a week in Waitrose and earning £500pcm...that would pay my rent, poker can do the rest along with loan...

If I stick with my guns now it would be tough financially until something comes along or I get back to the Vic. However, I firmly believe I will enjoy summer way more this way and can still earn the money I desire, if nothing else I would just have to make savings and there are plenty of ways I can do that, without enjoying myself any less. When I have money I am a complete degen with it and spend it a lot. However, I never put money away so when the chips are down....the chips are down.

Anyway, like I alluded to above, I think poker can contribute massively but I have never fully appreciated what it can offer or been bothered to utilise it, its always been more about the fun part. Well when I was grinding 10nl I was earning fairly large amounts of money. I thought about this and remembered my winrate...I am sure I can make more than £6.25p/h and I pick my hours! Thus, I booted up Stars at 9.30am, was going to play till I earn $20 or stop at 11.30am to go job hunting.
I earnt $17, in one hour, on 10nl! This may well not be sustainable and obviously there will be downswings. However, it helps me out, I enjoy it and its flexible!

I definately intend to get a job but one where I can still fit in poker. Basically the job will just pay my rent every month, whilst poker pays for everything else, as well as providing me with money to put away for a rainy day.

I have also come up with a couple of money-making schemes. One being letting the second bedroom out in the flat for the 8 weeks that girlfriend is away (she would go apeshit). I could achieve £80p/w easily, the market rate is £125p/w. £80 per week pays for 3/4 of my rent...tyvm. Then I really could just play poker for a living...

Anyway, the bottom line is you only live once.. My contract at works ends on the Friday before the Monday I start uni again. There is no way in hell I am doing that. Evenings are a write off, too tired. Weekends are similar and I couldn't get home, for example, until about 10pm on the Friday night, if I left straight from work, I then have to be back in work for 9am on the Monday morning. Its impossible to enjoy myself. Yeh I may well earn £3000 or something but what the hell for?

Life isn't a dress rehearsal...

Anyway, will see if I can make the most of today and then decide whether or not to stick with my guns. It may well be that I just cave in, bottle it and go to work tomorrow but I am sure as hell gonna give it a shot..