The End.

Warning: this could be a long post as I try to unravel my thoughts on poker and bring this blog/era of my life to an end.

I am no longer going to kid myself into believing that I enjoy grinding online and even enjoy playing online poker. The best moments I have had from playing online have either been winning large sums of money or losing large sums of money with Jon cos its comical to degens..
Grinding would not endure either of those, in theory. I can't win large sums of money quickly, I can't lose money. I played poker to earn myself some "pocket money" to do other things with. I have never been one of those kids that sits behind a tv on games consoles all their lives, it doesn't excite me one bit. Online poker demonstrates a similar trait, sitting behind a screen. I can only focus on it for an hour or so at a time and then I get bored, no interaction, no nothing.

I have now started working at Sports Bar and its immense, love every minute of it. Being behind the bar interacting with the customers, engaging in banter with them. With 15 50' HD Sony TVs, working during the football season will be immense and enduring the banter that comes along. I knew 60% of the staff already but get on with the others I have met already. Been working 5pm-close every night, earning about a tenner in tips, then having a few free drinks after work and catching the bus back with people. Plus I earn £200 a week exc tips. What more can you want? £200 pays my expenses per week and gives me money left over, I have a damn good time doing it. Poker? Would I earn £200 a week putting in the same hours...flat out no. Not online via grinding. I would have to risk my own money to do that, when at the moment its not really the best time for me to being doing that. Online poker is more boring, stressful and outright dull, imo. No interaction, nothing.

For the first time in my life I can hand on heart say I respect what an old mate, Dawesy, has done. He has done a lot of things wrong but I reckon he has a pretty sweet life in Notts, now I intend to do the same in London.

I am not going to be any dramatic, pointless promises that I can't keep. I will NEVER grind online again but I am going to keep Stars and only Stars on my laptop..I will set a deposit limit on it and if I fancy playing a tournament one night, I might. But I will set the limit to about $30 a month or something tedious.

I will still play live though and depending how I am feeling tomorrow night, may well go and play. Hopefully I won't have to many late shifts next week and I can hit the Vic. Got £250 in £50s sitting infront of me, needs to grow!

But yeh, thats that as far as I am concerned. Was fun while it lasted but it aint reality.. The people I am mates with in London who play, have pretty much stopped playing online and did so some time ago. They recognise that it aint fun and its easier to make money on the live scene and far more entertaining. I am livng with my girlfriend and pretty serious about our relationship. Lot of uncertainty around our future given different locations and stuff but we want to try and make it work but if push comes to shove and it doesnt work out then I at least want to be safe in the knowledge that I made the very most of it and had an amazing 3 years with her. I won't do that by playing bloody poker every night. The group of friends I have here are also a great bunch and poker isn't everything. For some strange reason I anticipate the forthcoming academic year to be a better one by making this decision..
And who knows what will happen with Newport etc cos everything is gradually breaking apart. Will be interesting to watch.

We shall see. The End.